Monday, October 02, 2006

No Flavor in Love

I try not to watch Flavor of Love. But I can't help it. Same thing with The Bachelor. Both shows have pretend-to-be ladies nearly falling out of their dresses (okay, on Flavor of Love, the women most times have barely anything on in the first place) for some guy.
Now on The Bachelor, the guy is reasonably good looking.
On Flavor of Love, the guy is Flavor Flav, once the best hype man any politically conscious rap group like Public Enemy can have. Now, the 47-year-old recovering drug addict is an enemy to himself, a has-been who has morphed into a caricature.
But who cares what the guy looks like. This is reality television and viewers are lulled into believing romance is women acting like fools for some guy they just met, that soulmates will be found when relationships from these reality television shows wither the moment the cameras vanish.
Of course, this is a guy's fantasy, to have dozens of women clamoring for the chance to be his bride forever, or at least for the moment. And we in our living rooms have great fun laughing at the women snipe and bitch and claw at each other like dogs fighting over the last chicken bone.
And I wonder as I look at all of this what these shows say about women. Of course, some will argue that these women choose to go on this show, for whatever reason. It could be that they really dig the guy (hard to believe, I'm sorry to say, about Flavor Flav). Some hope this will be their big break. Or they think this will be something to tell the grandkids when they're older.
Regardless, the fact is that these women are in a sense degrading themselves. Yes, that's a strong statement but what else can you call it.
What woman, in her right mind, would voluntarily give away all the power in the dating situation that she has in real life?
See, in real life, the guy is supposed to ask the girl. He's supposed to brush off that nagging fear of rejection and talk to that girl in the bar, the bookstore, wherever, talk to her and get her number and call her later and ask her out and try to kiss her, knowing all the while that the woman has the right and the power to say no. And the guy has to pick his ego off the floor when "no" in whatever polite way the woman says it comes from her lips and he has to move on to the next woman and the next woman until he gets that "yes."
I mean, that's what real life is. Real life isn't a man having a pick of 25 women and he gets to eliminate half the first night and the remaining 11 have to smile, bat their eyes, shake their behind, and laugh at bland jokes until they get their man. What crap.
A female friend of mine nagged a boyfriend by being a real bitch. She ignored him ruthlessly for weeks and when she finally did give the guy a chance, she wouldn't let him kiss her for a long time.
Okay, maybe that's a bit too far but you get the idea.
I want a woman who I feel comfortable approaching but I also want a woman who leaves me wanting more. So sorry, the girl who has her breasts falling out so much you can see nipple or who has the tip of her thong hanging out of her too-tight pants ain't going to get any play. Smells desperate.

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